Thursday, August 2, 2012

A poem for searching

Sometimes I miss the days when life fit neatly inside a bite-sized cardboard box.

It's not that my life ever did,

                                       but other people said it should,

                                                                            and I automatically assumed that, since
                                                                            people said it should,
                                                                            then, without question, it absolutely
                                                                            would...

I let myself be bound by fear and uncertainty, not wanting to risk getting the formula wrong.

I looked to them...

                                     teeny kitchen tables, tiny wooden drawers...

                                                               a dollhouse of mystery, a foundation of sand.

And when there comes shaking, that which is unstable inevitably crumbles.

And what is scary is that, in searching, I am not afraid of offending God

                                     I am only afraid of offending them...

                                                                they who purport to have so many answers.

Who never question, who never make mistakes.

A mythical communion of people...made up of thousands and millions of blurred out shaded faces.

Where will I be if I go where this is leading?

                                                                 I can see it on the horizon, quietly beckoning.

I can see it...but I'm afraid to move forward.

                                    Moving forward would mean turning my back on what I
believed must be

                                   Inherently safe.

And if I leave, that faceless multitude might then decide to judge me.

                                   Though, of course, that probably would never really happen.     I don't think....

But what of the others who have faced cries of heresy?



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